SLO' TOM AND THE HORSESHIT HEROES--Liquor's My Lover lyrics

All songs written by Slo' Tom Stewart except where indicated.
File collated by Dave Watson, with corrections by Slo' Tom.
NOTE: The lyrics of the cover versions are based directly on how they were sung on the CD, so any missing/misquoted lyrics in this listing are that way on purpose.

Liquor's My coverSONGS:
Liquor's My Lover
Eastbound and Down
A Bottle Made Me an Offer
Suddenly
Eye to Eye With Nothing
Chops' Song
The One I Love (is Not My Lover)
Crazy Train
Traditional
Curve of the Earth
Sunday Morning Coming Down/Busted
Questioningly
Gotta Get Drunk
Mountain Man

Liquor's My Lover

Well, the doctor came callin', he said, "Tom, lemme in.
You're long overdue for an examinin'.
You're pale and you're sickly and ugly as sin."
I pulled up a chair and I poured him a gin
and I said--

CHORUS:
Liquor's my lover and I want it that way
I don't need no other, there's no woman for me
Yeah, liquor's my lover, all my women have depart(ed)
and it may harm my liver but it won't break my heart

"Well, I'm warnin' ya, Tom," that old doctor said,
"You better stop drinkin', you need a clear head.
Half o' ya's dyin', the other half's dead.
You better find a good woman 'cause you're drinkin' to death."
and I said--CHORUS

THE ELECTRIC GUITAR STEPS FORWARD.

So I went to a preacher and I told him I'd sinned
'cause the day that she left me, well, I hit the gin
He said the old bottle would soon do me in
but I'm gettin' used to the shape that I'm in
'cause--CHORUS

Well, I should have listened to their good advice
'cause I kept on drinkin' and I died that night
St. Peter stepped forward when I rang his bell
He said, "Slo' Tom, there's no liquor in heaven,"
so I went straight to
liquor's my lover and I want it that way...

Eastbound and Down

(Jerry Reed)

CHORUS:
Well, I'm eastbound and down, loaded up and truckin'
We're gonna do what they say can't be done
We've got a long way to go and a short time to get there
I'm eastbound, just watch this Bandit run

Put that foot hard on the pedal
Son, never mind the brakes
Let it all hang out, 'cause we got a run to make
The boys are thirsty in Atlanta and there's beers in Texarkana
We're gonna bring 'em back, no matter what it takes, 'cause I'm eastbound...

ROLLIN' PIANO SOLO

Old Smokey's got his ears on, he's hot on your trail
He ain't gonna rest 'til you're in jail
and you gotta dodge and you gotta duck 'im
You gotta keep that diesel truckin'
You gotta put the hammer down and give 'er hell--CHORUS

Yeah, I'm eastbound, just watch this Bandit run
Yeah, I'm eastbound, just watch this Bandit
Eastbound, just watch this Bandit
Eastbound, just watch this Bandit run

A Bottle Made Me an Offer

I met my ex on the street today
She said, "Boy, what happened to you?"
I said, "When you left, I took a look at my options,
and a bottle made me an offer I couldn't refuse.
A bottle made me an offer I couldn't refuse."

I went by my job to pick up my pay
but they told me my time there was through
I started lookin' for ways to fill up my days
and a bottle made me an offer I couldn't refuse
A bottle made me an offer I couldn't refuse

CHORUS:
So why don't you leave me alone? Why don't you let me be?
The last thing I need is bein' reminded of me
I'm not myself today, you'll have to excuse
A bottle made me an offer I couldn't refuse
A bottle made me an offer I couldn't refuse

Now, some men chase fame and some men crave wealth
and some men just do as they choose
but not all wounds heal and my fate was sealed
When a bottle made me an offer I couldn't refuse
A bottle made me an offer I couldn't refuse--CHORUS

Suddenly

She says she'll be lonely and you hope you won't be
You can pick up your mail when you drop off your key
You can meet for a drink but you'll never see
You're (keep) singin' the same old song

CHORUS:
Suddenly, you don't know where your love has gone
Suddenly, you don't know where your love has gone

I took a good look, I know how it feels
It seems so good, it seems so real
but it wriggles away like a slippery eel
Believe me, it don't take long, before--CHORUS

GUITAR BREAK

She tells you she loves you, you tell a lie
She tells you she loves you, and you can't reply
Well, she tells you she loves you, you can't look in her eye
How are you gonna get along, when--CHORUS

You say you'll love her forever, and your lives you can share
You love her forever in an oath you can swear
but you'll wake up one morning, and think love never was there
and you just might not be wrong
and suddenly, you don't know where your love has gone
Suddenly, you don't know where your love has gone

Eye to Eye With Nothing

I've been here forever
See how the chair is worn
The walls could tell some stories
Sheltered strangers from the storm
and I'm starin' down an empty 'til I lose all sense of sight
Eye to eye with nothing on a lonely Sunday night

The regulars file in
The clinking of the glass
The warmth flows so easy
Takin' the coldness from my past
and I'm face down on the table with my knuckles turning white
Eye to eye with nothing on a lonely Sunday night

GUITAR BREAK

I've been here forever
but I'm younger than you'd guess
I fight the battle nightly
Most nights I lose, I must confess
and I'm starin' down an empty
I swear I can almost see the light
Eye to eye with nothing on a lonely Sunday night
and I'm face down on the table with my knuckles turning white
Eye to eye with nothing on a lonely Sunday night

Chops' Song

(Rob Snasdell-Taylor)

Let's walk home past the Beer Store
and take our favourite bottle from the shelf
They say I'm not hurtin' anyone
Lord knows I'm just hurtin' myself
and now I have a life
and I have a thirst
and most days I just cannot decide
which one I should satisfy first

CHORUS:
One I've got a taste for and the other one just hurts
It's my life and my thirst

So I piled up all the empties
I was feelin' pretty weighed down
and I got about halfway there
when I heard that crashing sound
Yes, and I have a life
and I have a thirst
and most days I just cannot decide
which one I should satisfy first--CHORUS

GUITAR BREAK

Yes, and I have a life
and I have a thirst
and I'm standing in broken glass
No choice which one comes first--CHORUS

The One I Love (is Not My Lover)

SLO' TOM:
I met an old man the other day
He seemed so sad, I had to stop and say,
"Why the tears from eyes so grey?"
He said, "I made a mistake, and now I have to pay.
and why I let it be, I don't know why
I should have followed my heart and soul,
because the one I love is not my lover
and my lover is not the one I love.
The one I love is not my lover
and my lover is not the one I love."

GENEVIEVE ROCHON:
I saw the woman at his side
She seemed so sad, I had to ask her why
"Why so sorry? Have the years been cruel? Is something missing in the person next to you?"
but she just looked away and shook her head
but I could hear what her silence said
She said, "The one I love is not my lover.
My lover is not the one I love.
The one I love is not my lover
and my lover is not the one I love."

ORGAN SOLO

SLO' TOM:
So hear the universal cry
It's an anthem written 'specially for mankind
Some kind of torture that we've devised
to toughen us up for the afterlife
Well...
GENEVIEVE ROCHON:
I hope you don't fall into the same trap
It's pretty bad when it comes right down to it

'Cause the one I love is not my lover
and my lover is not the one I love
The one I love is not my lover
and my lover is not the one I love

ORGAN RIDEOUT

Crazy Train

(Osbourne/Daisley/Rhoads)

Crazy, but that's how it goes
Millions of people living as foes
and maybe it's not too late
to learn how to love
Forget how to hate

And the mental wound's not healing
Life's a bitter shame
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train

I've listened to preachers
I've listened to fools
and I've watched all the dropouts
make their own rules
One person conditioned to rule and control
and the media sells it and you live the role

And the mental wound's still screaming
Driving me insane
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I've been going off the rails on a crazy train
I've been going off the rails on a crazy train

OH, MAN, THAT RIFF!

The heirs of a cold war
That's what we've become
Inheriting nothing
I'm mentally numb
I'm crazy, I cannot bear
living with something that just isn't fair

And the mental wound's not healing
Life's a bitter shame
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I've been going off the rails on a crazy train
I've been going off the rails on a crazy train

Traditional

He's barely awake
He's never learned how to live
He knows how to take
Doesn't know how to give
and it bothers him more than he likes to admit
as he strolls in the rain with his cigarette

He was born to a mother, or so he was told,
who wanted her freedom before she grew old
He was pushed in the corner and forced in the mold
Put up on the block, he was auctioned and sold

He curses the weather
Says he don't need the rain
He expects to hurt others and not feel the pain
He can't conceive of ever giving any more than he gain
I guess he and I are just one and the same

I guess he and I are just one and the same

Curve of the Earth

My uncle called the other day
He said, "Come and work for me.
You could bring a girl. You could raise a family.
You could buy some land and build a home.
You can live here happily."
I didn't know what to say
I couldn't say, "I couldn't live that way.
Oh, forgive me. Maybe another day."

Sittin' in the bath with the sun bright in my eyes
I've seen a lot of hatred in disguise
and love, when you touch it, oh, it just lays down and dies
Turn your head and look to the sky
Mark down in your diary the day your dreams die
Turn your head
It's too late to cry
Turn your head
It's too late to cry

Curve of the earth
Didn't I see the stars move?
Didn't I hear the latest word about myself? 'Bout myself?
I'm the bird that hits the windowpane
I'm you and then I'm me again
I have not been the same, but, then again, I can't complain
You know I can't complain
Can't complain
I guess I can't complain

Sunday Morning Coming Down

(Kris Kristofferson)

Well, I woke up Sunday morning with no way to hold my head that didn't hurt
and the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad, so I had one more for dessert
then I fumbled in my closet through my clothes
I found my cleanest dirty shirt
then I washed my face and combed my hair, stumbled down the stairs to greet the day

Well I smoked my mind the night before on cigarettes and songs that I'd been picking
then I lit my first and watched a small boy cussin' at a can that he was kicking
then I crossed the empty street, caught the Sunday smell of someone frying chicken
and it took me back to something that I lost somewhere somehow along the way

CHORUS:
On a Sunday morning sidewalk
(I'm) wishing, Lord, that I was stoned
Cause there's somethin' 'bout a Sunday
that makes a body feel alone
and there ain't nothin' short of dying
half as lonesome as the sound
of a sleeping city sidewalk
and Sunday morning coming down

In a park I saw a Daddy with a laughing little girl that he was swinging
and I stopped beside a Sunday school, listened to the songs that they was singing
And then, far away, I heard a lonely bell a-ringin'
and it echoed through the canyons like a disappearing dream of yesterday--CHORUS

Busted

(Harlan Howard)

My bills are all due and the baby needs shoes and I'm busted
Cotton is down to a quarter a pound, but I'm busted
I got a cow that went dry and a hen that won't lay
A big stack of bills that gets bigger each day
The county's gonna haul my belongings away cause I'm busted

I went to my brother to ask for a loan; I was busted
I hate to beg like a dog for a bone, but I'm busted
My brother said, "There ain't a thing I can do.
My wife and kids are all down with the flu,
and I was just thinking about calling on you--I'm busted.
Yeah, I'm busted..."

PIANO SOLO; REPEAT FIRST VERSE

I'm busted...

Questioningly

(Ramones)

Questioningly her eyes looked at me
And then she spoke
"Aren't you someone I used to know
and weren't we lovers a long time ago?"
I looked at her close
I forced her into view
"Yes," I said, "you're a girl
that I once may have knew."

But I don't love you anymore
Why do you want to talk to me for?
You should have just let me walk by
Memories make us cry

In the morning, up and at work on time
My boss he tells me that I'm, I'm doing fine

When I'm going home
Whiskey bottle, movie on TV
and I'm so alone
I'm alone, just me
Just me, questioningly

GUITAR SOLO
When I'm going home...

I looked at her close
I forced her into view
"Yes," I said, "you're a girl
that I once may have knew."
Questioningly...

Gotta Get Drunk

(Willie Nelson)

Well I gotta get drunk and I sure do dread it
'cause I know just what I'm gonna do
I'm gonna spend my money callin' everybody honey
and wind up singin' the blues
I'll spend my whole paycheck on some old wreck
And, brother, I can name you a few
Yeah, I gotta get drunk and I sure do dread it
'cause I know just what I'm gonna do

I gotta get drunk, Lord, I can't stay sober
There's a lot of good people in town
and if you hear me holler, see me spendin' my dollars
I wouldn't think of lettin 'em down
Well, there's a lot of doctors keep telling me,
"Tom, brother, you better slow down,"
but there's more old drunks than there are old doctors
So I guess we'd better have another round--FIRST VERSE; PIANO SOLO; FIRST VERSE...MORE BEER!

Mountain Man

I shoot critters for my dinner
Oh, yessirree, I do
I trap furs for my woman and eat pots of critter stew
I got me a shootin' iron but I only got eyes for you
You cute little cuddly wuddly hog-tyin', bull-ridin', honeybunch cowgirl, you

CHORUS:
'Cause I'm a mountain man (he's a mountain man)
Oh, I'm a mountain of a man
and every night I squeeze her tight
I'm a mountain of a man
Yeah, I'm a mountain man (he's a mountain man)
Yeah, I'm a mountain of a man
and every night I squeeze her tight
I'm a mountain of a man

PIANO BREAK

Well, I used to be a loner, oh, yessirree, I was
'til I got that giant boner, and I reckon it's because
she's the finest filly this side of old San Juan
She knows I'm her mountain man every time we get it on--CHORUS

WHY NOT ANOTHER PIANO BREAK? FOLLOW IT UP WITH ONE OF THE DRUNKEST GUITAR SOLOS EVER PLAYED.
INTRODUCE THE BOYS IN THE BAND, AND LEAD BACK INTO THE FIRST VERSE AND CHORUS., AND YOU HAVE A LIVE COUNTRY RECORDING CLASSIC!

PUT ON THE MIX TAPE, TALK WITH SOME AUDIENCE MEMBERS, HAVE A FEW MORE BEERS, PACK THE GEAR INTO THE TRUCK, HAVE A FEW MORE BEERS, TALK WITH THE BAND, HAVE A FEW MORE BEERS, AND THEN GET HOME SOMEHOW. GREAT SHOW!

Return to Furnaceface: homepage@anyspeed.
Return to Watson's WorldWideWasteofTime Page: Music and Anime.