FURNACEFACE--Clobbering Time
Released 1996.
All songs written and copyrighted by Furnaceface (SOCAN) except where noted.
Samples indicated ["like this"].
File collated by Dave Watson/SHLF.
SONGS:
But I'm Different Now
unsafe@anyspeed
Government Cheque
The Ballad of Richard Iommi
Clobbering Time
Sucked Into Drugland
About to Drown
She Thinks She's Fat
Bottled Up
We Love You, Tipper Gore
Overcome
If You Love Her, Buy Her A Gun
I Don't Think
While My Dad Gently Weeps
This Will Make You Happy
Calling From the Lord
Just Buy It
Get Myself Together
But I'm Different Now
(Paul Weller; deconstructed by Furnaceface)
Picked you up and put you down and
I never said a word--
But I'm different now and I'm glad that you're my girl
Mess you 'round and upset you
The woman that I love--
But I'm different now and I'm glad that you're my girl
REPEAT ABOVE VERSE
Because I know I done some things
That I should never have done
But I'm different now and I'm glad that you're my girl
[Pat Banister summarizes the Quadrophenia movie in about five seconds.]
Picked you up and put you down and
I never said a word--
But I'm different now and I'm glad that you're my girl
unsafe@anyspeed
Straight out of the factory
Out of the lot and into the street
Deaf with delight and dumb as cane
You make mistakes, I do the same
Like driving fast? Well, I do, too
Don't think I can? Well, watch me go now
Eyes wide with wonder and blind with chrome
The firing cycle's drummed into me
I follow lines you'll never see
I'd rather sit in the driver's seat than a passenger for eternity
Unsafe, unsafe at any speed
Unsafe, unsafe at any speed...
Government Cheque
["1, 2, a-1, 2, 3, 4--"
"You're doin' it fuckin' wrong!"]
CHORUS 1:
(A kick in the ass
A slap in the face
A knife in the back for the minimum wage)
Well, today I got a government cheque
Am I gonna get drunk? Oh yeah, you bet!
Gonna paint the town red till my money's all spent
then blame it on the government
I quit my job. Why? Cuz it stunk
but I still get a cheque twice a month
I sit around on my ass and I get paid by the working class
CHORUS 2:
Well, I worked for years, but it didn't pay
A kick in the ass, a slap in the face
They showed me the door when I asked for a raise
Maximum work for minimum pay--CHORUS 1x3
"Did you like your job?" Nobody does.
"Well, why'd you quit?" Well, because
I don't need a job. What the heck?
Canada Post will bring my cheque
And with every bottle that I drink
I sit and I think and I think and I think
about the people to whom I owe my keep
They go to work while I go to sleep--CHORUS 2
[CHORUS 1 over top of:]
Well, today I got a government cheque
Am I gonna get drunk? Oh yeah, you bet
Gonna paint the town red till my money's all spent
then blame it on the government--CHORUS 1
The Ballad of Richard Iommi
This is the ballad of Richard Iommi. Richard was a typical suburban teenager. He lived with his parents and spent most of his time hanging out with his friends, listening to records and smoking dope in his room in the basement. There was only one difference between Richard and a typical suburban teenager--he was totally obsessed with Tony Iommi. For those of you who don't know, Tony Iommi is the guitarist in the rock 'n' roll group Black Sabbath. Richard idolized him.
CHORUS:
He believed, he believed, he believed he was the son of Tony
He changed his name, he changed his name, he changed his name to Iommi
But Richard's devotion to Tony Iommi didn't end there. Not only did he change his last name, but he began buying vintage musical equipment circa 1969. His goal was to obtain the same make and model of guitars and amplifiers that his idol had used. He even got a 72-piece drum kit* just like Bill Ward's. Richard and his best friend would go down to the basement, get really wasted, and set up all the equipment like a shrine. They talked about the day that they would form their band. Richard, of course, would be the guitarist.--CHORUS
One day Richard and his best friend were down in the basement. Richard was cutting pictures of Tony Iommi out of old Creem magazines and pasting them in a huge collage on his wall. His friend was playing with the tuner on Richard's stereo when suddenly they both heard something that would change their lives. Lee Aaron was coming to their town. For those of you who don't know, Lee Aaron is the very talented and lovely Canadian rock singer who's also known as the Metal Queen. Richard and his friend loved Lee Aaron second only to Tony Iommi. Richard knew he had to somehow meet Lee Aaron and tell her the secret of his lineage.
He believed, he believed, he believed he was the son of Tony
He went to see, he went to see, he went to see the Metal Queen
On the day of the show, Richard was so excited he could barely move. In the afternoon he went down to the concert hall early in hopes of catching a glimpse of her. Suddenly, there she was. Everything in the world faded away, and before he knew it he was telling her about the double-neck guitar, the 72-piece drum kit, and why he changed his name. The Metal Queen listened, and in a single sentence brought his entire world crashing down!
"Like, why don't you sell that shit and get a life?"
He believed, he believed, he believed he was the son of Tony
The Metal Queen, the Metal Queen, the Metal Queen smashed his dreams--CHORUS
* Richard "Iommi" Baxter's drum kit is now 115 pieces. I'll have to check that sucker out one of these days. He has recorded an all-percussion album with it called Richard's Drum World.
Clobbering Time
The ref said, "Keep it clean. Standing eight-count in effect."
I'd heard about her right, it's her left I won't expect
She caught me on the heart with a jab I didn't see
I'm dancing like a butterfly, but she's stinging like a bee
She's got me down, down--but I'm not out
I'm coming 'round, 'round--for another bout
It's clobbering time
and I'm down, but I'm not out
It's clobbering time
and there goes the bell
Feeling cocky in my corner when we got in the ring
but my confidence was on the ropes when she took her first swing
I've always had the upper hand in the tale of the tape
but in this title fight of love, I'm a featherweight
She's got me down, down--but I'm not out
I'm coming 'round, 'round--for another bout
It's clobbering time
It's clobbering time
It's clobbering time
and there goes the bell
It's clobbering time
Sucked into Drugland
(Lyrics written by Andrew McKean)
1st VERSE:
You thought you'd get your rocks off, you thought you'd have a blast
You've been sucked into Drugland and you're questioning your past
Your head is 10 feet tall and your feet don't touch the ground
You've been sucked into Drugland--just take a look around
CHORUS:
(Sucked into Drugland)
What do you exist for? What is this nightmare scene?
Sucked into Drugland, now part of the machine
You're in some slimy disco, and nothing there is real
Sucked into Drugland--has your ego burst its seal?
2nd VERSE:
Step into an open field upon a sunny day
Gaze out on the land and tell me what you think
Now you've got your rocks off and you've paid for your blast
That acceleration of experience is something of your past--CHORUS
(Sucked, sucked, sucked, sucked into Drugland)--2nd VERSE
["I was boiling inside. I wanted to reach out and punch you!"
"Oh...oh...neat!"]
About to Drown
Another day, another headache, and the neighbours are gone
Mother shakes her head as I crawl from the front lawn
She's found me sleeping there before, but I'm usually not alone
She really can't complain this time, 'cause at least I made it home
CHORUS:
I might know what I wanted if I stopped to look around
but it's hard to learn to swim when you're just about to drown
I'm about to drown
Another day is passing now, and all I've done is sleep
When I'm not lying dead in bed, I'm dozing on my feet
And the girlfriend's always far away when you want her near
and always suffocating when you're gasping for air--CHORUS
CHORUS...when you're just about to--GUITAR RAWK SOLO
CHORUS--I'm about to drown (I'm about to drown)
She Thinks She's Fat
["Let's take a look at your love life. Whoever originated the phrase, 'the way to a man's heart is through the stomach' must have been referring to the Cancer girl. You really know how to dine a man and seduce him with all sorts of tempting and exotic dishes, don't you? This is fine, but just make sure you don't get nervous and start nibbling too much during the preparation of all this delectable food, because you tend to put on weight easily, then you may find that the romantic atmosphere of the candlelight dinner you've taken such pains to prepare is not quite so effective."]
CHORUS:
My girlfriend thinks she's fat
but she doesn't look fat to me
Girls always think they're fat
I think they read too many magazines
I take her out to dinner
She hardly eats a thing
She calls herself a cow
and I say, "How 'bout a little (how 'bout a little) [3x]
...a little bestiality?"--CHORUS
I take her to a movie
She doesn't like what she sees
but she eats ten buttered popcorns
and then she throws up (yes, she throws up)
Oh, then she throws up (yes, she throws up)
I said, then she throws up, she throws up
...in the sink--CHORUS
She's always on a diet
I hear about it every day
She says none of her clothes fit
but you know what? (What?)
I like her better (I like her better)
I like her better (I like her better)
I like her better without them anyway--CHORUS
Now, I don't know why you think you're fat, baby. You make me feel so bad when you say, "Tom, am I fat?" I don't know what to say. You make me feel so bad because, I mean, even if you were fat, I would still love you. I want you to know that. When you say, "Tom, am I fat?", all I can think of saying--the only thing I can think of saying is [fadeout ends--chorus would repeat here].
Bottled Up
I made myself believe that I could walk a middle line
Paid for my ticket and waited patiently in line
It didn't take too long to know I didn't like the ride
But here I am still fighting on the inside
CHORUS:
Don't want to hear about your new religion
Don't want to hear the sales pitch anymore
Don't want to hear about the deal I'm missing
Shove it in someone else's door
I'm getting tired of hanging on the rack
I'm getting tired of being strung along
Gonna break out of the bubble pack
Bottled up for too long
For too long
I watched the others in front and in the back
I watched the process
Saw the product and the ad
It didn't take too long to know that I couldn't live like that
but here I am, still off track
CHORUS:
Don't want to hear about your new religion
I'm not buying it at any price
Don't want to hear about the deal I'm missing
Shove it in someone else's face
I'm getting tired...
(1st VERSE)
Bottled up for too long
For too long
We Love You, Tipper Gore
["Everybody but the fat ladies and old men again. Now, if you're not gonna dance, you might as well have stayed at home and not had to take a bath."]
Found a little sticker on a record yesterday
A little note from you, offensive in your own way
Tellin' me what I should listen to, tellin' me what I should buy
Don't you know you only whet my appetite?
CHORUS:
And don't you know you're wrong?
You only make me want to hear it that much more
And don't you know you make it much more fun?
That's why we love you, Tipper Gore
You only take a second, it would take me an eternity
I'd find it kinda hard to decide what someone else should hear and see
but you fill me with awe at how quickly you decide
what I should be exposed to and what i should be able to buy--CHORUS
Hey there, Tipper, try and censor this:
FUCK YOU!! FUCK YOU!! FUCK YOU!! EAT SHIT!!
Hey there, Tipper what's your problem with free speech?
Or could it be that free speech is a dangerous thing
to a woman whose husband can get impeached?--CHORUS
CHORUS...That's why we love you, we love you, we love you, Tipper Gore
Overcome
I start with something and I end up with this
Another victim of his own invention
I start with something--vinegar and piss
The road to hell is paved with best intentions
You draw lines
A slightly different symptom of the same disease
CHORUS:
I've got to rid my mind of the hate instilled in me
I've got to purge the prejudice I've been taught at home, at school and on TV
Pumped into me from birth, my mind's polluted and become
numb to all the pain and suffering that I have yet to overcome
How do you do it?
It's so easy for you to paint the world in black and white
It's not that digital
It's every colour, every shade
How can you break it down to wrong and right?
You draw lines
Create sides that divide and confine--CHORUS
You draw lines
A slightly different symptom of the same disease
You start with something and you end up with this
and no one wins the stupid game you're playing
You start with something, but there's a point you've missed
More concerned with how you sound than what you're saying
You draw lines
A slightly different symptom of the same disease--CHORUS
If You Love Her, Buy Her a Gun
I see her walking home
I see her casting shadows on the street
A car pulls up behind her
Rolls down the window, he starts to speak
And there's a target on her
and there's a bullet with her number
and she's an unarmed soldier now
but not for long
'cause it's a war and if you care, if you love her, buy her a gun
'cause it's a war
and she's a soldier, if you care, if you love her, buy her a gun
I see her walking home
I see him rolling softly at her heels
Headlights silhouette her
His heart beats faster as he grips the wheel
She looks for lighted doorways
He thinks that she could be the one
Laughing softly to himself
Could she make it if she runs?
And there's a target on her
and there's a bullet with her number
and she's an unarmed soldier
She's an unarmed soldier now
But not for long
'cause it's a war and if you care, if you love her, buy her a gun
'cause it's a war, and she's a soldier, If you care, if you love her, buy her a gun
If you love her, buy her a gun
Your girlfriend, your sister, your daughter, your mum
If you love her, buy her a gun
so she can blow some bastard's head off if he follows her home
Do you love her? Would you buy her a gun?
Do you love her? Would you buy her a gun?
Do you love her? Would you buy her a gun?
Do you love her? Would you buy her a gun?
I Don't Think
CHORUS:
I don't think you really know what you're saying
I don't think you really know what you mean
I don't think you really done too much thinking
Teaching your child ignorace is obscene
Baby's first words--a racist slur
Boots and braces at the age of three
Mommy's naïve and Daddy's head is thick
Baby's first step is gonna be a kick
I'm saying...
CHORUS 2:
I don't think you really know what you're saying
I don't think you really know what you mean
I don't think you really done too much thinking
Teaching your child how to hate is obscene
Now your baby has a mind of is own
Old enough for school but you keep him home
You say you don't want him 'round those ethnic types
You keep him home and teach him "might is right"
I'm saying...CHORUS 2
2--First pair of Docs
4--Sings along to a Skrewdriver record
6--Old enough to realize he has no hair
8--Extorts lunch money
10--Expelled from school
12--Tattoos his bottom lip
14--Attends National Front rally
16--Burns crosses on black neighbours' lawns
18--First pregnancy
20--Jailed for murder
22--Death by beating in prison
Your patriotism is an evil charm
Your cheap disguise is the flag on your arm
Don't look to me--I don't know what I'll do
Don't look to me when they put the boot to you
I'm sayin'...CHORUS 2
While My Dad Gently Weeps
["Punctuality is stressed in this household. By that, I mean hair is combed and faces and hands scrubbed before the boys come to the table so they won't delay the meal. Now, mother and daughter put the finishing touches on the dinner. Father, too, looks forward to this date with the family. He has had a hard day at the office and in his briefcase are some contracts which must be looked over tonight. But in the meantime, he will relax at dinner with those he loves."]
Let's grab some cash from Dad's wallet while he's asleep
and while we're at it, let's steal the old man's keys
We'll take his Volvo downtown, cruise around, check out the scene
We'll buy some beer and then do donuts in the parking lot across the street
CHORUS:
While the old man is asleep
into his bedroom we will creep
We'll steal his money and his keys
while the old man is asleep
Let's crack open his liquor cabinet and have a few
A couple for me, 15 for you!
Hey, take it easy, that's Dad's favourite chair you're covering in puke!
Ah, what the hell--what's he gonna do?--CHORUS
["Children are not possessions."]
Let's play his records at 78
You know, at this speed, Paul Anka sounds great
Let's pop a couple of his heart pills just for fun
and when we're really pissed, we'll play with his gun--CHORUS
["Mr. Cook?"
"Yes?"
"You have a son named Robin? Robin Cook, age 17?"
"Yes."
"I'm sorry, Mr. Cook. You better come down to the station house. Your son is dead."]
AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! OH YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAH-HAA-HAA-HAAA!!!!!!
Hey, I don't hear him snoring anymore
Hey, hey, hey, he's in my van, and he's listening to hardcore!
Isn't that my wallet on the dash?
Isn't that my girlfriend in his lap??
I guess I musta been asleep
Into my bedroom he did creep
He stole my money and my girl
I guess I musta been asleep
["He died of an overdose."
"Oh, my God...sob...sob..."]
["Things get a little easier once you understand."]
This Will Make You Happy
["Say, tell me--are you happy?"]
I want extra-large and expect a box set
Shiny cars--a blonde treat in the front seat
Brand new things--nice clothes, nice pose
Diamond rings--white dress, it's my guess
CHORUS:
27" screen and a 451
50 weeks straight, two in the sun
A little bigger desk, a little bit more
A little bigger gun than the guy next door
But these things don't always satisfy
quite the way they've been adverstised
You get one, you want two, you get two, you want three
Ask yourself, how happy do you want to be?
How happy do you feel? This will make you happy
How happy do you feel? This will make you happy
C'mere, have I got a deal for you
A California kitchen and an inground pool
2 1/2 kids in the Aerostar
4 1/2 baths and a trophy on your arm
You feel so good to feel so sore
Mistress gets dressed, motel room floor
I got the loaded model, accessories
You wanna take a spin? Here's the keys
["Do you have an answer to our question? Ask yourself this one."/"Stop worrying."/"Trust me, it's gonna work."/"Are you ready for this?"/"I can spend my time actually enjoying life."/"The possibilities are endless."/"Convenient. Expensive. Not too good, but convenient."/"If you're unhappy about the way you look and feel--"/"It's not on my list, but I gotta have it!"]--CHORUS
(You get one, you want two, you get two, you want three)
How happy do you feel? This will make you happy
How happy do you feel? This will make you happy
How happy do you feel? This will make you happy
How happy do you feel? This will make you happy...
Calling From the Lord
["Punk rock? What is that, some kind of joke?"]
I woke up one night with a terrible fright
I knew the Lord was coming soon
but what the hell was he doing in my room?
He said, with a mighty crash and a lightning flash,
"Son, you're among the chosen few.
Boy, have I got a deal for you."
CHORUS
And now I, I got a calling from the Lord
Yeah, I, I got a calling from the Lord
Yeah, I, I got a calling from the Lord
He said, "Son, you're just the one I'm lookin' for."
He was kind of fat in his cowboy hat
He spoke with a drunken slur
I knew I should believe him but I wasn't sure
He said, "There's quite a demand for this little scam of selling guilt and sin.
I've got a good thing going here and I'll let you in."--CHORUS
He said, "My gift to you is a world of fools
who like to follow guys like you."
An opportunity, a growth industry
You can lead the true believers if you follow me...CHORUS
Just Buy It
["Before settling down in your easy chair to listen to this album, may we make a suggestion? Take your phone off the hook. Someone might call during the next half-hour or so and interrupt your fun."]
["But wait, there's more"/"Could you dream of anything more thrilling?"/"Lasts longer"/"More savings"/"They taste too good"/"Feels nice and soft"/"Soft and smooth"/"Lasts nice and long"/"Took out everything"/"Surprisingly nutritious"/"By doing more for you"/"It's more than amazing"/"More savings"/"But wait, there's more"/"Slim, flushable and easy"/"Cleans deep down"/"This lets the grease come back"/"They taste too good"/"We're guilty of price"/"Underneath the anxiety"/"He'll"/"Schlip over it"/"So inexpensive"/"How much would you pay?"/"Positively gigantic--and it's yours now for only $29.95"/"$5.95"/"$9.99"/"All for just $4.55"/"1-800-847-927"/"48780"/"7486400"/"25566"/"22"/"That's 1-800-927"/"4878030"/"2486400"/"Positively gigantic"/"10 million dollars!"]
I promise you a safety guaranteed by aeroplanes,
by boats and tanks and bombs and guns
Well, it don't work too well, but you're too busy to complain
That's just the way it's always done--JUST BUY IT.
I promise you a progress guaranteed by corporate greed,
by profit, gain and the bottom line
It might work for some, but then again, it kills the rest
None of us really seem to mind--JUST BUY IT.
I promise you salvation guaranteed by God above,
by donations to the pockets of the saved
It might not work at all, but we don't really know for sure,
so lie down in your grave--JUST BUY IT.
I promise you a life of cigarettes and cocaine,
vacations, girls, sun and wine
It's a fantasy that sells, but your reality stays the same
Happiness is a little harder to find--JUST BUY IT.
Get Myself Together
I've got a room, I've got a key
I live a life that's driving me crazy
Got a great big hole where you used to be
and it's sad, but it's true
You don't understand me and I don't understand you
and I've been drinking but I don't feel so good
CHORUS:
I gotta get myself together
I gotta get myself together
I wear a uniform just like you
We all wear 'em, no matter what we do
We just find slightly different gods to salute
I got a room, four walls,
a single bed and I don't care at all
At least that's what I try to tell myself--CHORUS
...Together, together, together
GUITAR SOLO, CHORUS
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