Released 1991, re-released 1992.
All songs written and copyrighted by Furnaceface (SOCAN) except where noted.
Samples are indicated ["like this"].
File collated by Dave Watson/SHLF.
Corrections by Tom Stewart (of Furnaceface).
Original transcriptions and translations of French samples by Peter L. Hurd and Ben Blay.
Corrections of French samples and translations by Yves Brouillette.
If they still need corrections, please send them here.

Just Buy It. CD coverSONGS:
Just Buy It
About to Drown
She Thinks She's Fat
Can't Help Who You Love
Government Cheque
While My Dad Gently Weeps
We Love You, Tipper Gore
Shakey Thing
Fat (Reprise)
Down the Drain
Fatherland America
KKKiss My Ass

Just Buy It

["Before settling down in your easy chair to listen to this album, may we make a suggestion? Take your phone off the hook. Someone might call during the next half-hour or so and interrupt your fun."]

["But wait, there's more"/"Could you dream of anything more thrilling?"/"Lasts longer"/"More savings"/"They taste too good"/"Feels nice and soft"/"Soft and smooth"/"Lasts nice and long"/"Took out everything"/"Surprisingly nutritious"/"By doing more for you"/"It's more than amazing"/"More savings"/"But wait, there's more"/"Slim, flushable and easy"/"Cleans deep down"/"This lets the grease come back"/"They taste too good"/"We're guilty of price"/"Underneath the anxiety"/"He'll"/"Schlip over it"/"So inexpensive"/"How much would you pay?"/"Positively gigantic--and it's yours now for only $29.95"/"$5.95"/"$9.99"/"All for just $4.55"/"1-800-847-927"/"48780"/"7486400"/"25566"/"22"/"That's 1-800-927"/"4878030"/"2486400"/"Positively gigantic"/"10 million dollars!"]

I promise you a safety guaranteed by aeroplanes,
by boats and tanks and bombs and guns
Well, it don't work too well, but you're too busy to complain
That's just the way it's always done--JUST BUY IT.

I promise you a progress guaranteed by corporate greed,
by profit, gain and the bottom line
It might work for some, but then again, it kills the rest
None of us really seem to mind--JUST BUY IT.

I promise you salvation guaranteed by God above,
by donations to the pockets of the saved
It might not work at all, but we don't really know for sure,
so lie down in your grave--JUST BUY IT.

I promise you a life of cigarettes and cocaine,
vacations, girls, sun and wine
It's a fantasy that sells, but your reality stays the same
Happiness is a little harder to find--JUST BUY IT.

About to Drown

Another day, another headache, and the neighbours look on
Mother shakes her head as I crawl from the front lawn
She's found me sleeping there before, but I'm usually not alone
She really can't complain this time, 'cause at least I make it home

I might know what I wanted if I'd stop to look around
but it's hard to learn to swim when you're just about to drown
I'm about to drown

Another day is passing now, and all I've done is sleep
When I'm not lying dead in bed, I'm dozing on my feet
And the girlfriend's always far away when you want her near
and always suffocating when you're gasping for air--CHORUS

CHORUS...when you're just about to--GUITAR SOLO

CHORUS--I'm about to drown (I'm about to drown)

She Thinks She's Fat

["Let's take a look at your love life. Whoever originated the phrase, 'the way to a man's heart is through the stomach' must have been referring to the Cancer girl. You really know how to dine a man and seduce him with all sorts of tempting and exotic dishes, don't you? This is fine, but just make sure you don't get nervous and start nibbling too much during the preparation of all this delectable food, because you tend to put on weight easily, then you may find that the romantic atmosphere of the candlelight dinner you've taken such pains to prepare is not quite so effective."]

My girlfriend thinks she's fat
but she doesn't look fat to me
Girls always think they're fat
I think they read too many magazines

I take her out to dinner
She hardly eats a thing
She calls herself a cow
and I say, "How 'bout a little (how 'bout a little) [3x]
...a little bestiality?"--CHORUS

I take her to a movie
She doesn't like what she sees
but she eats ten buttered popcorns
and then she throws up (yes, she throws up)
Oh, then she throws up (yes, she throws up)
I said, then she throws up, she throws up
...in the sink--CHORUS

She's always on a diet
I hear about it every day
She says none of her clothes fit
but you know what? (What?)
I like her better (I like her better)
I like her better (I like her better)
I like her better without them anyway--CHORUS

Now, I don't know why you think you're fat, baby. You make me feel so bad when you say, "Tom, am I fat?" I don't know what to say. You make me feel so bad because, I mean, even if you were fat, I would still love you. I want you to know that. When you say, "Tom, am I fat?", all I can think of saying--the only thing I can think of saying is [fadeout ends--chorus would repeat here].

Can't Help Who You Love

["Ce qui m'intéresse le plus dans la vie, puisque tout se rapporte à ca, c'est l'amour, que se soit n'importe quel domaine d'ailleurs. L'amour de...de l'humanité, l'amour...l'amour de son travail, l'amour des...des choses que l'on aime, puis l'amour tout court n'est-ce pas? L'amour tout court c'est a dire l'amour entre...deux êtres et évidemment c'est...c'est je crois la...la seule chose qui compte sur terre parce que de là découle toutes les choses on est... Quand on aime on a tous les courages. C'est à dire que si on doit se réaliser, s'épanouir..."]
(["What interests me most in life, since all is interrelated, after all, is love of any sort. Love of...of humanity, love...love of one's work, love of the...the things we like, and love in general, right? Love in general is to say love between...two beings, and evidently I...I judge, it's the...the only thing that counts on earth. From there flows all the things we have. When we love we have all the courages. Which is to say if we have to come true, to bloom..."])

We started out alright
I don't know how we lost our way
Why are we never satisfied?
Why do we throw it all away?

And sometimes it's not enough, but you can't help who you love
(No, you) can't help who you love

I never meant to hurt her
Well, I never meant to cause her pain
I couldn't go any further
I get so tired of the game--CHORUS


Well, I had everything
I could have lived so happily
But you know it's not the answer
At least, not for me
and she just wants to hang out
Why does it have to be that way?
The more I try to reach out
the more she's pushin' me away *--CHORUS

* "This was supposed to be 'the more I'm pushing her away,' but I forgot my notebook that day, and hence got it wrong."--Tom.

Government Cheque

["1, 2, a-1, 2, 3, 4--"
"You're doin' it fuckin' wrong!"]

(A kick in the ass
A slap in the face
A knife in the back for the minimum wage)

Well, today I got a government cheque
Am I gonna get drunk? Oh yeah, you bet!
Gonna paint the town red till my money's all spent
then blame it on the government
I quit my job. Why? Cuz it stunk
but I still get a cheque twice a month
I sit around on my ass and I get paid by the working class

Well, I worked for years, but it didn't pay
A kick in the ass, a slap in the face
They showed me the door when I asked for a raise
Maximum work for minimum pay--CHORUS 1x3

"Did you like your job?" Nobody does.
"Well, why'd you quit?" Well, because
I don't need a job. What the heck?
Canada Post will bring my cheque
And with every bottle that I drink
I sit and I think and I think and I think
about the people to whom I owe my keep
They go to work while I go to sleep--CHORUS 2

[CHORUS 1 over top of:]
Well, today I got a government cheque
Am I gonna get drunk? Oh yeah, you bet
Gonna paint the town red till my money's all spent
then blame it on the government--CHORUS 1

While My Dad Gently Weeps

["Punctuality is stressed in this household. By that, I mean hair is combed and faces and hands scrubbed before the boys come to the table so they won't delay the meal. Now, mother and daughter put the finishing touches on the dinner. Father, too, looks forward to this date with the family. He has had a hard day at the office and in his briefcase are some contracts which must be looked over tonight. But in the meantime, he will relax at dinner with those he loves."]

Let's grab some cash from Dad's wallet while he's asleep
and while we're at it, let's steal the old man's keys
We'll take his Volvo downtown, cruise around, check out the scene
We'll buy some beer and then do donuts in the parking lot across the street

While the old man is asleep
into his bedroom we will creep
We'll steal his money and his keys
while the old man is asleep

Let's crack open his liquor cabinet and have a few
A couple for me, 15 for you!
Hey, take it easy, that's Dad's favourite chair you're covering in puke!
Ah, what the hell--what's he gonna do?--CHORUS

["Children are not possessions."]

Let's play his records at 78
You know, at this speed, Paul Anka sounds great
Let's pop a couple of his heart pills just for fun
and when we're really pissed, we'll play with his gun--CHORUS

["Mr. Cook?"
"You have a son named Robin? Robin Cook, age 17?"
"I'm sorry, Mr. Cook. You better come down to the station house. Your son is dead."]


Hey, I don't hear him snoring anymore
Hey, hey, hey, he's in my van, and he's listening to hardcore!
Isn't that my wallet on the dash?
Isn't that my girlfriend in his lap??

I guess I musta been asleep
Into my bedroom he did creep
He stole my money and my girl
I guess I musta been asleep

["He died of an overdose."
"Oh, my God...sob...sob..."]
["Things get a little easier once you understand."]

We Love You, Tipper Gore

["Everybody but the fat ladies and old men again. Now, if you're not gonna dance, you might as well have stayed at home and not had to take a bath."]

Found a little sticker on a record yesterday
A little note from you, offensive in your own way
Tellin' me what I should listen to, tellin' me what I should buy
Don't you know you only whet my appetite?

And don't you know you're wrong?
You only make me want to hear it that much more
And don't you know you make it much more fun?
That's why we love you, Tipper Gore

You only take a second, it would take me an eternity
I'd find it kinda hard to decide what someone else should hear and see
but you fill me with awe at how quickly you decide
what I should be exposed to and what i should be able to buy--CHORUS

Hey there, Tipper, try and censor this:
Hey there, Tipper what's your problem with free speech?
Or could it be that free speech is a dangerous thing
to a woman whose husband can get impeached?--CHORUS

CHORUS...That's why we love you, we love you, we love you, Tipper Gore

Shakey Thing

["The Neighbourhood of Make-Believe."
"Speedy Delivery. Good day, Charlie, good day to you. Speedy Delivery."
"Oh, Mr. McFeely, I'm glad to see ya. Do you have my delivery of [beep]?"
"Well, I have a delivery here. I don't know if it's [beep]. Let's shake it and see, alrighty?"]

Well, I've had my shakey thing since I was a little boy
My mama told me my shakey thing was a tool and not a toy
She said, "Now, son, you've got a shakey thing, it's a gift from up above."
Now, not everybody's got a shakey thing, so give it your respect and love

You've got to shake that shakey thing, gotta shake that shakey thing
Shake that shakey thing, please shake that shakey thing
I'm tellin' you, shake that shakey thing, please shake that shakey thing
Why don't you shake that shakey thing, please shake that shakey thing
I'm tellin' you, shake

My daddy told me one thing, he said, "Son, just stay on solid ground.
Let your mind rule your shakey thing and not the other way around."
But my daddy died when I was small. Well, he left one thing to his son
Cos my papa was a pistol, and I'm just a son of a gun--CHORUS

["Cut it off!"]
["Men are pigs, yeah!"]
["Can shake it, can shake it, can shake it."]

Well, now, some of you have a shakey thing or maybe you have a friend that does
If you do or don't, don't matter, just be careful now because
when you're cruising through the 90's with that shakey thing on board
that shakey thing could lead you to the nursery or the morgue--CHORUS

Hey, now, we all know that everyone is equal to his brother, *
so how can one shakey thing be better than another?
Don't worry 'bout the size of your shakey thing, cos size don't mean shit
Just cuz you got a nice pencil, it don't help your penmanship--CHORUSx2

["The object of the game is to feel real good."]

* "Was supposed to be 'each other,' but fucked up."--Tom.

Fat (Reprise)

My boyfriend's such an ass
His supposed male authority
He's only proving that
he's a total dickweed

Look, man, I know I'm not really fat, you just make me feel that way, and then you lie right to my face when you say, "Baby, I don't think you're fat." You know, deep down inside, when you're laughing with your friends, you're really laughing at me. So, what are you really trying to say?

My boyfriend feels my fat
It really depresses me
'cause he feeds me all this crap
about how much (about how much)...he really wants me

Down the Drain

By my window, there goes someone I used to know
I knew her in high school, but not anymore

Well, I have stayed the same
but my friends have really changed
and I don't wanna see them go down the drain
Down the drain

Grade 10 history, she really had it all
Now she's thinkin' with her nose
She's a stripper down in Montreal

Well, I have stayed the same
but my friends have really changed
and I don't like to see them go down the drain
Down the drain

These people look at me and what do they see?
They see some guy waste his life in a band
No job, no career, just another wasted year
Maybe I'm the one who should look again

Well, I have stayed the same
Maybe I will never change
and I don't wanna go down the drain
Down the drain

Fatherland America

(Written by Dave Wailin', originally recorded by Honest Injun)

["A-gone gone gone, she been gone so long."]
["Le club de hockey Canadiens, le club de hockey Canadiens
Possède toujours les meilleurs joueurs, possède toujours les meilleurs joueurs"]
(["The Canadian hockey team, the Canadian hockey team
always has the best players, always has the best players."])

["Now, that's enough from me. I'm hungry, I'm an old man, I'm tired, I'm dry. All I'll say is 'Seig heil,' and 'Let's go eat'."]

America crushed Germany to save its pretty face
America's now the Fatherland, the whole world's now a no-fun place
The whole world's now a Jewish race

Fatherland America
McDonald's land, America

Nazi scientists in US laboratories
paved the way for our democracy
Fascism and democracy
Now they go hand-in-hand
Yeah, now they go hand-in-hand--CHORUS

Fatherland America
Legoland America

For your freedom to be installed
They say that they'll take it away,
but only just for a little while
Yeah, only just for a little while
Only just for a little while

KKKiss My Ass

Well, you talk pride, but you wear a mask
Gonna wring your red neck
KKKiss my ass
Well, you're all brave men, but you hunt in packs
Fear is your tool
KKKiss my--

Well, I see a big world run by little minds
I see way too much power in the hands of the wrong kind
I see people stand up and lie to me from the screen of my TV
This I can't look past
They can kkkiss my--

["I don't see any American Dream...I see an American Nightmare."]
Well, you talk pride, but you wear a mask
Gonna wring your red neck, baby
KKKiss my--

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